Friday, September 7, 2012

POST #2-Other's Purpose

How can we identify the purpose of someone else's existence?  Is this possible, if we have difficulty arriving at our own purpose for living?  What advice would you give a friend who says, "I do not know what I should be or what I should be doing in this life?

43 comments:

  1. As I said, purposes is plural. A purpose of someone can be connected to another person. Therefore, it is possible to find A purpose of someone else's "existence". Finding someone else's purpose(s) is just as hard as finding your own purpose but it may sometimes even be harder. Sometimes you may not even be interested in someone else's purpose but I think it is important. This has a lot to do with character judgement and may reveal ways in which you can further mutually benefit someone else.

    What advice would I give to a friend who doesn't know what they should be doing? To be honest, I'm probably the one asking this question instead of the one giving advice on it. Well for a start, the fact that they don't know their purpose, is a good start. At least, you are trying to think on what you should do. I would tell them to not become overwhelmed but consider everything one by one. Also, think of what YOU DON'T WANT to do if you can. Then, list in your head of what you might like to do. Next, I want you to talk to someone else who is preferably older than you about your possible "shoulds" You may speak to others you trust or look up information about your "shoulds" if you can. Limit yourself to a small topic if you start to feel frustrated when thinking. Start delving into deeper topics when you've conquered your teeny tiny matters. The foundations need to be covered before you can build your life. It is just like a building.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. The role of authoritative sources plays a great role in decision making or advice to a friend. They are the only people who have gone through similar situations that you have gone through. They have something called EXPERIENCE.

      Authoritative sources are a very pivotal when it comes to giving advice. One of the most important aspects of giving good advice, in my opinion, is an unbiased opinion on what the person is asking about. Unbiased opinions are often less emotional and more rational. The most simple way you can get unbiased views of something is asking other people of all ages; old or young. You ask older aged people because they have gone through what you have gone through. Asking younger people allows for mutual growth and understanding. Plus, one relates more to people their age.

      To continue, you said to ask "experts" when giving advice. By the book, this is what one should do. However, we cannot do so due to practical reasons. One, some people can't afford to see a social expert. I believe this type of visit to an "expert" is not covered by medicare and you may have to pay for it. Two, having to talk to an expert is something that is not worth it to them. The person feels like "going with the flow" and feels like things will work out in the end. Three, seeing a social "expert" is connected to your reputation. You maybe called "crazy" or "retarded" due to it.

      I personally think all people should consult an "expert" on advice whenever they are stuck on grand issues that involve their life.

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  2. This is such a coincidence cause my friend had asked me today what her purpose was in life. Wow.
    Anyways, The only way you can identify a person's purpose in life is if you know them well enough to even give you the merit to answer such a profound question that has so many possibilities. Fairooz said that finding someone else purpose in life can be harder than finding your own purpose. I feel adversely about this because it is much easier to give someone your opinions which serve as the building blocks of finding their purpose in life. When you hear from others what your specific talents may be, the topic becomes a little less elusive. Most people have trouble when they are asked questions such as "who are you?" They give answers consisting of where they are from, their hobbies, etc. Most people feel uncomfortable when they are asked this question.

    Advice that I would give a friend?
    I would tell my friend that you have experienced life the way that you have. You have learned all the lessons you know either by making mistake and/or watching others make their mistakes. You also know how much you can handle and how far you can carry yourself. In the end, only you can answer this question. The best advice is to take your morals, your wisdom, your knowledge and the things people have told you about yourself and delve into it and really analyze it because the answer literally rest inside of these things once they are connected.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. Authoritative source as you were growing always has an influence on you because they were the people making all of the decisions for you. But at this day and age, I know that at the end of the day, decision making is now in my hands. I am given options now.

      And no one can be trusted with your life. Why would you go to an expert to GIVE advice? Advice is usually when you try to help someone with your own knowledge and wisdom. That defeats the purpose.

      Honestly, Dr. B. I don't like this question.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. My friend has chosen me to obtain guidance. There has to be some good reasoning behind it. They probably believe that I have some sort of wisdom in which they believe might help. If they continue to come to me for advice it proves that they want my guidance because they believe my advice was good enough for them to take into consideration for their decisions. There are only certain things we should consult experts about such as, extreme, suicidal, and violent thoughts. If my friend came up to me about that, I would recommend talking to an expert. Additionally, as I said before, our guidance helps shape other people’s purpose in life, and I would like to emphasize it because in reality our surroundings shape us and help us find our purpose, henceforth the advice seeking. My authoritative role comes from my experience, advice from others, and my morals as a person. If you like them and believe I carry some wisdom on this certain matter, you will most likely ask for advice to me.

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  4. Honestly in my opinion, I feel that since I know my purpose in life, that I should try to let the other person know it as well. I will try to explain why I believe that this is the ideal purpose. As I mentioned in my first post, that we have an effect on every person's purpose whom we meet. We also decide how big of an affect we have. We can identify their purpose by looking at their morals and values. If they have none, I feel it is my duty to guide them. Another duty in Islam is to spread it amongst everyone. So I would try to the best of my ability to discuss this matter to them .Additionally, I would not only do this but explain to them my ideologies of being an essence of good in this world. I have stressed it a great deal in the other topic so it would become redundant to repeat it again. Furthermore, finding a purpose in life is not difficult if you have someone to guide you. We all base our ideologies from somewhere, you just have to find the direction you need. Getting advice is a prime example of how people find their way. I will help and I will do what I believe in, Good.

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    1. I don't believe we can identify another person's purpose unless they are an exact mirror image of ourselves. I can always assume something about someone, but it doesn't mean the assumption is correct. Unless we truly understand another person, live their life, see through their eyes, walk through their shoes, then I can officially say we only influence someone else, as well as their purpose in life. Example: I'm a grown man, organized life, paying the bills, etc. I have a wife. I adopt an eight year old child who has been disbanded by his real family. He was always in a dark place, filled with distress, and wonder of why he had existed, but seeing that I have good in me to adopt and take care of him has opened his eyes. Maybe he defines his existence by that, and chooses to lead the same life when he gets older. Maybe he will do as I did and adopt a child the same way, the cycle repeats. The thing about this is, maybe not. I don't decide for the child I had adopted. Maybe he will stay in that dark place, knowing I am not his real father, and due to emotional trauma, disband his own children. Again, merely influence, and one can not truly identify another person's purpose.

      For the last part of the question, that being about a friend asking of his/her purpose, I can't truly say. I have no answer to that. I don't think I'd be able to help a friend out. The most one can do about that is give moral support, and cliche advice such as, "follow your dreams, pursue what you like," etc. I apologize for not having a true, specific answer about that, but it's really tough to say.

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    2. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    3. When it comes to society basics, the authoritative figure also dictates your action. If I was told to do something by a teacher, I would have to listen. If someone, just an adult told me something, I would take it into consideration. I always allow opinions to enter the realm of thought, and in the end they may even influence my final decision, but I still make the final decision.

      I do believe we should consult "experts" when giving advice, but only because every opinion and thought counts. Maybe that expert will have the "morally correct" answer. Maybe not. You never know, but I say go for it.

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  5. -I believe that we cannot identify the purpose of someone else’s existence. The reason for this is not only because we have a difficult time arriving at our own purpose for living but because as I mentioned in my previous post, I truly believe that no one knows what their true purpose in life is until they have undergone a series of experiences, whether good or bad. I believe that after all of one’s countless pleasing experiences throughout their life, I feel that they will come to one out of all the others in which they will find the most fulfillment and at the point in their life they will come to realize that was what they were ultimately destined for. We are all different human beings, not one person is identical to another. Therefore, what may satisfy me and ensure my happiness may not please someone else. It may bring them an equal amount of discontent as it would be happiness to me. I agree with what George stated, unless we have lived the life of someone else exactly as they had, walked in their shoes, or have seen life through their eyes we will always have a difference in perspective because although we may have experienced what they have, we have not experienced it exactly how they might have.

    -If a friend came up to me and told me that they did not know what they should be or what they should be doing in this life the advice that I would give them is that they should not get overwhelmed because they are not alone. There are many others who do not know as well and sometimes not knowing is a great gift because the adventure of discovering the answer gives a person a learning experience and throughout that experience you will learn things about yourself that you did not once know and if was not for that journey you would have never known. Overall, I would tell my friend that everyone is in this world for a reason whether you know or do not know you’re purpose; eventually you will find where you fit in. “Patience is a virtue.”

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. Authoritive sources play a major role in my decision making and the advice that I share with my friends. When you are receiving advice from an authoritive source in your life, it makes the advice you are recieveing more personal because it is coming from someone who you truly respect and look up to. Many times people often prefer to speak to someone who they have this conncection with because the advice received has more meaning to them due to the authoritve source’s experience. They have more knowledge and wisdom that can help you since they have possibly gone through many similar situations as you. In a sense, they have “been there,done that” thus it makes the advice more insightful. I believe that if one can consult with an expert they should because although I believe the expert ultimately never truly has the answer, I think that they provide a reasonable perspective that helps guide you to find the solution yourself. They provide you with helpful advice of what is best to do in your given situation however, in the end you are the one who makes the final decision taking into consideration what was advised to you. We know the answer, just for the simple fact that we are emotional human beings it blocks a major part of our rationality that experts sometimes help bring clarity to that side of us when issuing their advice.

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  6. I don’t believe that we can determine the reason of a person’s true existence, but it couldn’t hurt to give insight or share experiences. I think a start to helping a person is to allow them to reflect on the type of character they are and their interests. I agree with Chandni that it may help a person to distinguish their traits and hobbies if you know them well enough. Whether good or bad, hearing an outside perspective allows you have something to work with. It may be something you expand on or alter completely. Sometimes one may be embarrassed to admit their interests, afraid others would judge. I believe that many people are often discouraged when they reflect on what others have and accomplished in life compared their endeavors. It makes them feel as if they’re not good enough. But when it comes down to it, you have to use their own judgment and always remember it’s your life your living, not someone else's.

    I actually had a conversation with closest friend about this subject. My mother always tells me that things happen for a reason, and I honestly believe it. It may not always be good but I’d like to think that when one door closes, another opens. You may not know what your true purpose is or even when you achieve it, but as Katie said “patience is a virtue.” My advice is not to be discouraged by another person’s achievements, look at it as a reason to keep trying and pursuing what makes you happy in life no matter what others think or how long it takes.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?


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    2. The role of an authoritive source has had an immense impact upon my decision making as well as the advice I have shared with friends. There are times when you need to speak to someone that you look up to, to gain insight and understanding. When it comes from an authoritive figure in your life, it makes the advice you receive all the more person. It may be someone you has already walked in your shoes, allowing them to gain wisdom; something an "expert" can only achieve through experience. A degree in psychology does not mean that an "expert" has all the amswers , let alone all the right ones.

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  7. Identifying someone's purpose is somewhat of a catch-22 as someone who is already clear and decisive on their purpose will be more inclined to be outwardly expressive of it, therefore enabling you an easier time in identifying what their purpose is. A person who doesn't have a purpose in mind will obviously not be able to convey this, thus making it hard or near impossible to identify their purpose.

    The advice I would offer to a friend would be to simply experiment. The simple act of trying new hobbies or activities is the only catalyst you need to spark a new profound interest in something or find your purpose. Pursue things that you have an affinity to based on the traits that you possess, such as curiosity or selflessness. Learning not to be discouraged and become flustered when trying to find your purpose is a very strong asset, as you'll undergo a lot of trial and error along the way and it is easy to become lost in cynical and self deprecating thoughts. Possibly even asking the question of "What do you want to be remembered for when you die" would be enough to incite a response.

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    1. Couldn't experimentation lead to dangerous life style choices??

      Also, what role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. Not If you're making pragmatic and sensible decisions and not experimenting with things which would hold no benefit.


      The influence of an authoritative source in my decision making depends heavily on what decision I am making and who that person is. Any external advice will have leverage in my decisions especially if it is coming from someone I respect. That doesn't mean that my perception of an issue or decision will shift towards there's but it I will take it into consideration.

      There's no real way to quantify an expert when giving advice on something as abstract as the purpose of life. There's no real point in someones life when their mindset shifts and they go from being an aloof child to an adult who is astutely aware and has an answer for everything. Yes they hold more experience and that is beneficial but any insight or advice should be welcomed and one should seek advice from a broad demographic as it allows for more self assessment to be made when you have multiple opinions on the topic to ponder.

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  8. If we ourselves don't exactly know our purpose in life, how can we identify someone else's? Like Katie said, we have to go through a series of experiences of our own to truly identify our purpose. I believe the only person that can identify the purpose of our being on this earth is the higher existing power.

    The advice I would give my friend who doesn't know what they want to do in life would be to follow your heart's aspirations and see where it takes you. Don't desire someone else's approval and do what makes you happy.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. I don't really know exactly what you meant by the first question.

      As for the second question, If someone comes to you for advice they think you are the "expert" on whatever they're asking you. Whenever I want advice I go to the person I think would know what they're talking about. When giving a FRIEND advice, even if you aren't the expert you will try you're best to give them the best advice you can at that moment.

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  9. It is not impossible to identify someone's purpose, but it is very difficult. Even though we have a hard time figuring out ourselves, it usually takes a third party to understand something we have been in denial about, all along. People usually have some sort of goal, short term or long term, whether they realize it or not. For us to identify their goals, would take deep observation and mutual understanding.

    If someone were to be flustered on what they should be doing in the future, then I'd tell the person to stop worrying. We are constantly looking towards a future that may or may not exist. I say that instead of worrying about "becoming", you should focus on simply "being". Our present was once the future, and our future will one day become the past, so live with the present. Goals are important because they dictate how we respond to situations, but it is not something to agitate over. If there is something that you love doing then it may come to you, but for now simply be.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. The authoritative source in my life is the reason I am where I am right now. It is the force that made me get up every morning for the past 3 years of high school. When that source advises me on what is right or wrong, I am immediately aware of the consequences and this can lead to me giving better advice to my friends. It is probably better to consult experts on giving advice. They are wiser, more experienced and assured than the rest of us.

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  10. At first I didn't have an answer to this question so I read through some of the responses and I am in somewhat of a neutral position concerning this topic. I think we can determine someone elses purpose in life only if it is somehow related to our purpose. Like Fairooz blogged " A purpose of someone can be connected to another person". At the same time George's blog made sense and put up some great points on why a person can not determine anothers purpose. George blogged " Unless we truly understand another person, live their life, see through their eyes, walk through their shoes....." only then we can know another persons purpose in life. This left me thinking for quite a while until I came to the decision that one can know anothers purpose in life, but only if he/she knows that person as well as they know themselves. Knowing someone as well as they know themselves is close to impossible, but I think it can be achieved if the people have similar goals in life.

    If anyone of my friends is unsure of their purpose in life and they come to me for help, I will do my best to help them find it. First I will try to find out what their interests are and slowly work into their personal life/experiences. I can not achieve this without gianing their respect, trust, and friendship. Once I get a sense of what their life has been like, I would base my advice on that information.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. The thing is that usaully if a friend comes up to you and says "I do not know what I should be or what I should be doing in this life?", they are just looking for a little support or friendly advice (Not expert advice). Sometimes you just need someone to believe in you, to help you achieve your goals. If they were looking for expert advice they will go to a person like the guidance consular. If they are coming to you they obviously just need a little friendly support.

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  11. Identifying someone else's purpose in life is much like identifying your own. It's as simple as reflecting on the decisions you've made through out your life, and the impact those decisions made. If a friend were to approach me saying they don't know what they should be doing in this life and asked me for advice, I'd tell them they're asking the wrong person. You know yourself best, and this is one of those things you have to figure out for yourself.

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. No I don't believe that it is necessary. If someone is coming to you for help, they'd want your opinion. But, there are some times you might want to seek help depending on the severity of the issue your friend needs advice with.

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  12. There is no one answer to this question since someone's purpose will remain inconsistent as it changes from person to person. For example Mr. B, you are my teacher and guide in this class and your purpose is to open my eyes to avenues I wouldn't normally see, but to someone else you are the principal and you are meant to be an authority figure and safeguard to the student body and other teachers, and to others, let's say your wife and children, you are meant to be a loving and supportive father and husband.

    Even that being said, someone's purpose may be determined by their natural talents being observed by a third person party. What I would say to a friend asking such questions would be "Instead of asking what you 'should' do, you should ask yourself what do you WANT to do? What do you want to get out of life, and what do you want to accomplish? What are your goals? What skills do you have that will enable you to reach those goals? You have your specific purpose for this life, but whether you realize it or not, it's up to you to decide what you do to make it your reality; your truth."

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    1. What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

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    2. Honestly Mr. B, I'm insulted you responded to everyone's post with these same inquiries. You should have made them a separate post altogether, or at least make note of one point each of us made instead of blatantly ignoring our responses and posting the same reply. I understand the prompts are food for thought, but my grievance remains the same--you gave no feedback.

      Even if you're busy, which I understand you are, it's still your obligation and duty to make time for us and help spur the growth of our young minds.

      By the way, I was typing my amazing and articulate response to your inquiries before and the page decided to refresh so my reply was lost to cyber space. I am still grieving my loss because I can't remember the exact words I used (one of the many woes of a writer), and the second version cannot even begin to hold a candle to the first. Well, a lesson lived is a lesson learned, and from now on I'll type my responses in Microsoft Word before posting them.

      Enjoy reply Version 2.0 (notice the sarcasm).

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    3. The role an authoritative source has relative to an individual’s decisions or advice to a friend is totally up to their discretion. It is up to the individual’s discrimination to determine whether or not this authoritative source is viable and trustworthy, because remember, a person of authority receives their power from others and bears a title to represent that power. Just because an individual is in a position of power and authority doesn’t necessarily mean they’re competent and every word they say should be held on to.

      Ultimately our thoughts and words bind or free us (and I use the idea of freedom loosely because its meaning is dependent upon the situation) and the consequences of our actions and decisions are ones we must live with.

      Consulting “experts” provides outside input to the process of advice giving and may provide another ray of illumination in a situation, but if someone comes to me for advice it’s because they believe in me and trust my wisdom to help guide them. A good way to give advice is to become an unbiased third party, as Fairooz said. Another good way is to help the person see all their possible options, weigh the repercussions and rewards of each, and have them decide which path they will walk while keeping the dichotomy and juxtaposition of emotion and rationality present during all scenarios. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

      Amassing enough knowledge and wisdom through experience enables an individual to rely on no one but themselves. It may sound selfish and apprehensive, but think about it, when you’re selfish you are thinking and acting in your own interest and benefit. If you had to rely on someone else, you’d have to trust that they have no ulterior motives. It may sound like paranoia, but that’s just a synonym for caution.

      A quote for thought:

      “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” –Lao Tzu

      https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/579847_10151045474508071_1856566428_n.jpg

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    4. The question was posted similarily for all, but Anil because I wanted to evaluate everyone's view on the issue-No insult intended.

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  13. We cannot identify someone else’s purpose unless told by them what they think their purpose is. But we can help to shape or help the other person find out what their true purpose in life is. This is still possible to do even if you have not found your own purpose in life, because no one knows their exact purpose or meaning in life, they just assume short term goals are their purpose until they have accomplished it and then they need to find a new purpose and a new goal. This therefore becomes a constant cycle. This is why, since one person is able to help form the path for another person, another person can do the same whether either person know their purpose in life or not.

    Advice I would give to a friend that says “"I do not know what I should be or what I should be doing in this life,” would be to sit down with them and ask them things they like to do in life. They can form a purpose or reason with their interests, like someone who likes sports can make it their purpose to become something in the sports field and the same with someone who likes English, etc. It’s not that they don’t know what they should be, its that they haven’t yet realized what potential they have in a place that they can use to make something of themselves.

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  14. Also, because I'm sure you're going to ask:
    What role does an authoritative source have in your decision making or advice to a friend? Shouldn't we consult the "experts" when giving advice?

    I believe that authoritative sources play a big role in making decisions or giving your advice to your friend, or just what people take in. Authoritative sources shape your mind into believing what's right and what's wrong. The authoritative sources normally are more knowledgeable and wise through experience, like a teacher. They help you form a path in your mind that shows you what could be right in their opinion and wrong. The opinion in generally might not actually be right or wrong in everyone else's opinion, but like the saying "Monkey See, Monkey Do", people look at the authoritative sources or figures may end up shaping your mind into thinking a certain way and help you find out what you want to do.

    It depends on what you're meaning of "experts" is with your second question. "Experts" can be generally anyone, regardless of a degree. Consulting a psychiatric may be a good way to get an unbiased answer to your questions, but it is not really necessary to speak to them. An "Expert" can be your parents because they are older than you and have lived longer and experience more. So, therefore "experts" can be anyone older than you or who has been through more life changing events than you. I think when seeking advice it is good to talk to someone with more life experience than you and someone who will give you unbiased advice dependent on your circumstance. So therefore, depending on who these "experts" you are talking about are, you do not really need to see an "expert" just someone with a lot of life experience.

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  15. I cant not just identify someone elses purpose on life thats there responsbility to figured out. Who am i ?? to tell them what they have to be in life im stil trying to figured my own purpose in life. What i can if my friend comes up to me for advise there i can help them or state my opinion of what they should do on their life.

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  16. I think that it would be fairly hypocritical to try and tell someone what their purpose in life is when you don’t even know your own. However, if you do know where you are going in life and what you are aiming for in your future, then maybe you have the right to identify someone else’s purpose. You could identify someone else’s purpose by observing what they do and how they do what they do. As philosophers all we do is observe other people and their ideas and then analyze them. I think that trying to analyze someone’s place in society when you don’t know your own is very hypocritical.
    If a friend of mine had asked me for advice as to what their purpose in life was I would tell them that I don’t think it is my place to tell you when I don’t know my own. However, if I did know my purpose in life I would have to tell them to do whatever it is that makes you happy and brings you joy. Create concrete goals for yourself to achieve success for what makes you happy; don’t sit around waiting for something good to fall into your lap. People who have long and successful careers don’t do what they do because the money is great, they do it because either they were extremely talented in that field, or because it was what they loved to do.

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